The meaning of romantic love has engaged thinkers and philosophers from Plato and Ovid to Montaigne and Freud, to Fromm and Sartre. Views on it range from St. Augustine’s comment that “there is no such thing as romantic love. It is a myth which is intended to confuse the human soul from his quest for true and honest love for God” to Voltaire’s witty appraisal that “love is the triumph of stupidity over reason.” Even our modern movies have an effect on how our interpretation of love is formed. The quote “all you need is love” from the musical hit Moulin Rouge is just a minute example of many definitions of love. These ideas on what love really is, leads the modern thinker to ask himself the ultimate question. Can love be defined, or classified into a general description? There is no one answer or classification that can encapsulate every man’s personal meaning of “love”. What does love mean? When does love occur? When does someone know they are in love? Ask one hundred people these questions and one hundred different answers will be given. Generalizing the answer is the key to finding the true meaning behind the infamous word. A single generalization would overflow with the infinite amount of diversity it would receiver. Therefore several classifications must be defined, before the meaning can reveal it’s self.
Passion drives every human in the quest for finding that special someone. Man is not free to refuse to do the thing which gives him more pleasure than any other conceivable action. This self deception seems to be a glorious adventure, but later turns to be a disappointment. It’s like looking at a black and white picture in which everything, even the shadows, are a bright rose-color. Nothing is unpleasant for the time being, and it fills our imagination with our passionate drive. The overwhelming sensation can easily be misconstrued as a real love. The act of getting caught up in the moment of passion tends to give one a great deal of satisfaction, but ultimately leading to the path in which they started.
Insecurity also has its form of love. A person’s vanity can be a treacherous way to express an idea of love. The idea of being with a person, because of the simple fact that others think of them as “beautiful” often occurs. They are no more than a trophy, in some sense, to be won. This occurrence of love is usually found among the people who are lacking in self-confidence and their vanity is more important than the inner beauty of the person. True love is covered by the selfish act of improving their self interest. The key is fighting off the urge to peruse such a love, and striving
striving for a deeper meaning of beauty in the person. If this is accomplished, the vanity love is demolished, and a new form of love can take form, admiration.
A person admiration for another gives birth to the final classification. When the admiration takes a new level and an imperfect person is seen perfect, in the eyes of the lover, a true love is shaped. Looking beyond the outer beauty, and projecting the qualities which exist only in their imagination, which have little or no relation to the actual person, gives the person a feeling that luck had to be involved. A kindred soul mate is established and a bond, stronger than any adhesive, is generated. This bond is what holds together the relationship together, even threw the testing times. A true love’s bond will only gain strength and last beyond their mortal lives, but will take on an immortal life of its own.
The meaning of romantic love is not a single one of these, but a journey through all the classifications. A person is first interested in the opposite sex by appearance, and ironically the last stage has little to do with the appearance of the individual. The process between the first and the last stages is an intimidating and magnificent experience. Love comes and goes without the will having any part in the process. The journey jumps from stage to stage in no particular order, until the final bond is created. If the relationship is premature, and the final stage is rushed (marriage) before the bond is strong enough to last, the relationship faces an emending doom that will eventually catch and demolish what was once created. However, a true romantic love will last beyond any conceivable time period, and gives happiness to the couple, that’s unlike any other.